we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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