like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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