sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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