Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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