STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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