Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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