we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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