He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
