Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Randomize
