is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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