i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
