I think I died a long time ago.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
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