You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
