im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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