just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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