So drunk its hurt
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
