# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
