Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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