Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
