This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
