I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
