he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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