If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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