Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
