I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
