12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
