i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
