Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
