ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
