you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I am naked and annoyed.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
