I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize