Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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