I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
