we made out on top of his cat.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize