24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
