Non-Jews are for practice
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
