im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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