Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
