Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
