ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
