i need an iv and a liver transplant
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize