Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You ate ashes out of my bong
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
