I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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