I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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