"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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