She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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