Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
