My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
