Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
