im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
