dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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