He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You took a bar mat shot.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
