dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize