I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
