so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
