My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
this just has baby written all over it
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
