So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
