I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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