god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
