If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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