What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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