This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
