she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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