I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
