yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
