He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
