I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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