I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
