Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize