Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I am midnight drunk by noon
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
