Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
