the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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