I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
