The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize