maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
pray to the hookup gods
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
