Its about making memories worth repressing
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize