He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
