We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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