dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
