Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
